Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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