the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
