She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
