Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
