At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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