Pappa wants mamma naked
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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