Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.