Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!