In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club