Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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