no. you can't hotbox the world.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
