just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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