so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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