some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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