Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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