Its about making memories worth repressing
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
