I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize