can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
