My balls are so social today.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
