OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
