there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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