this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
