So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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