i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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