where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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