The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
