I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
