I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
