Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
how does that bad decision feel?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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