ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
