You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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