Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh

  (1-619): View more from California

  maybe you did when you were drunk

  (619): View more from California

  no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.

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  (619): wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh (1-619): maybe you did when you were drunk (619): no way, i wasn't THAT drunk. http://tfl.nu/a663
  Replies (17) Good night (754) Bad night (2269)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!

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  (412): Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it! http://tfl.nu/we6e
  Replies (24) Good night (4168) Bad night (899)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.

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  (352): I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about. http://tfl.nu/yxic
  Replies (19) Good night (3939) Bad night (698)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.

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  (516): Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates. http://tfl.nu/it76
  Replies (7) Good night (498) Bad night (2245)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC

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  (304): you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC http://tfl.nu/889w
  Replies (21) Good night (4658) Bad night (684)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.

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  (703): Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk. http://tfl.nu/el36
  Replies (12) Good night (6706) Bad night (1246)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Man, jail baloney is awful.

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  (516): Man, jail baloney is awful. http://tfl.nu/9ubn
  Replies (33) Good night (995) Bad night (4004)
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  (661): View more from California

  I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.

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  (661): I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report. http://tfl.nu/3xqn
  Replies (9) Good night (3940) Bad night (738)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.

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  (301): I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now. http://tfl.nu/ln6x
  Replies (8) Good night (2230) Bad night (1116)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm off the liquor

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick

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  (403): I'm off the liquor (1-403): You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick http://tfl.nu/sglp
  Replies (7) Good night (1942) Bad night (585)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.

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  (561): Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear. http://tfl.nu/ad52
  Replies (7) Good night (1414) Bad night (567)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.

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  (404): It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk. http://tfl.nu/mcgf
  Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (661)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.

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  (360): The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN. http://tfl.nu/uweg
  Replies (14) Good night (2449) Bad night (473)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?

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  (214): Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend? http://tfl.nu/qooe
  Replies (1) Good night (614) Bad night (232)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.

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  (604): I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants. http://tfl.nu/vm67
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (173)

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