Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan. http://tfl.nu/kp2g
  Replies (31) Good night (882) Bad night (2741)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP. http://tfl.nu/bqsy
  Replies (20) Good night (1136) Bad night (6646)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often http://tfl.nu/vudy
  Replies (17) Good night (3932) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon... http://tfl.nu/do0i
  Replies (94) Good night (20979) Bad night (2116)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  That's because you are an idiot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot. (1-417): That's because you are an idiot. http://tfl.nu/6gwl
  Replies (17) Good night (1897) Bad night (5043)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

  (818): View more from California

  And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas. (818): And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you. http://tfl.nu/hyux
  Replies (14) Good night (5613) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table http://tfl.nu/id1h
  Replies (10) Good night (4551) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away. http://tfl.nu/1jys
  Replies (6) Good night (2347) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious. http://tfl.nu/zbxr
  Replies (7) Good night (1594) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me

  (206): View more from Washington

  That is an interesting fear as well as image

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me (206): That is an interesting fear as well as image http://tfl.nu/r0xy
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING http://tfl.nu/cx17
  Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands... http://tfl.nu/zbxi
  Replies (4) Good night (719) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine http://tfl.nu/rtlz
  Replies (3) Good night (442) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends http://tfl.nu/iklz
  Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015 http://tfl.nu/1f2y
  Replies (5) Good night (179) Bad night (173)

Randomize