ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today