ADVERTISEMENT

• (845): View more from New York

  I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him

  Fav 7 1301 3143

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween

  Fav 26 6105 773

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C

  Fav 12 4159 1293

  share tweet
  

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.

  Fav 10 5777 1410

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.

  Fav 6 3422 1127

  share tweet
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘

  Fav 11 2922 1174

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He likes bondage and spanking and shit.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.

  Fav 9 3538 935

  share tweet
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.

  Fav 12 2072 849

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.

  Fav 4 998 571

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck

  Fav 2 568 1091

  share tweet
  

• (+33): View more from France

  Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.

  Fav 0 279 146

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.

  (801): View more from Utah

  Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.

  Fav 3 178 71

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?

  Fav 0 32 31

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.

  Fav 1 58 12

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.

  Fav 1 23 19

  share tweet
  

Randomize