we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
