You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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