so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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