Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
