there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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