Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
