just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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