Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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