i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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