He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
