She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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