Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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