your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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