do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
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You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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