i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
