I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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