I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
