Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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