Fine. I'll sleep in my office
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize