I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
