Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize