i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Come share oat with me in your robe
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize