my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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