Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
