Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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