do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
