YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
